tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38000831333141561442024-03-13T13:32:01.855-04:00Life and Leadership by The BookBelieve in God and act as if......Martina McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04635503044353299327noreply@blogger.comBlogger465125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3800083133314156144.post-13731607818267645982013-05-12T14:00:00.000-04:002013-05-12T14:00:02.077-04:00Strategies for Dealing With Negative People<h1 class="title" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-6429" height="528" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/negative-people.bmp" title="negative people" width="421" /></span></h1>
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<strong>There is little difference in people, </strong></div>
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<strong>but that little difference makes a big difference. </strong></div>
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<strong>The little difference is attitude. </strong></div>
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<strong>The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. </strong></div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._Clement_Stone" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="W. Clement Stone">W. Clement Stone</a></strong></div>
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It is a real challenge trying to deal with negative people. All the complaining and ‘doom and gloom’ talk can really drain your energy and patience. At the end of even a 15-minute conversation with these people, it can feel like all of the life has been sucked right out of you.</div>
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The good news is you can lessen the effects of their negativity by coming up with a plan to deal with this challenge.</div>
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<strong>1. Be objective.</strong> It is very important not to take the negative person’s comments personally. Recognize that they are just pessimistic most of the time and <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/01/strategies-for-dealing-with-negative-people/" target="_blank">... Read more here</a></div>
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<span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-6266" height="366" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/starting-line.bmp" title="start" width="561" /></span></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion. </strong></div>
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<strong>Jim Rohn</strong></div>
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Ok! Enough with making resolutions, or not making resolutions about what you’d like to do. It has come time to do! So you say you want to get healthier? Great! Congratulations! That is a huge and very commendable goal. Now you just have to sort out how and where to get started, how to make your resolutions stick. Here are some ways to get started.<br />
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<strong>Start small</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
While it might seem tempting to set huge goals like dropping 50 pounds, running a marathon or even going to the gym every day, those are exactly the types of large resolutions can so easily be broken. To make goal setting, and goal attaining, easier and more fun, you should consider setting smaller goals <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/01/where-do-you-begin/" target="_blank">... Read more here</a></div>
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<span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="this is your life" class="size-full wp-image-8453 aligncenter" height="553" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/this-is-your-life-6341122556_9ed8b2d340.jpg" width="555" /></span></h1>
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<strong>Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>set goals and charge after them </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>in an unstoppable manner. </strong></div>
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<strong>Les Brown</strong></div>
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Keeping yourself motivated to be able to excel at your job or to be an example to your colleagues at work, should not be something you do only when the spirit moves you, but all of the time. It is an ongoing process that should include every facet of your business and professional life:</div>
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<ul>
<li>your mental attitude</li>
<li>your physical<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/04/5-tips-staying-motivated/" target="_blank"> ... Read more here</a></li>
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<span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="finances" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6665" height="556" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/finances.bmp" width="457" /></span></h1>
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<strong>A big part of financial freedom is having your heart </strong><strong>and </strong></div>
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<strong>mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life.</strong></div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.suzeorman.com/" rel="homepage" target="_blank" title="Suze Orman">Suze Orman</a></strong></div>
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Your finances determine many important things in your life such as where you live, how you live, and what you’re able to do. So, it is very important that you get control of your finances, rather than letting them control you. Here are a few steps you can take today to start taking back control of your money and get on the path to creating peace of mind.</div>
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<strong>1. Start tracking your spending.</strong> The first step you need to take <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/01/4-finances-control/" target="_blank">... Read more here</a></div>
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<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/confidence-573830063_ca6e91377d.jpg"><span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="confidence" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7213" height="333" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/confidence-573830063_ca6e91377d.jpg" width="500" /></span></a></div>
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<strong>Too many people overvalue what they are not and </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>undervalue what they are. </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Forbes" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Malcolm Forbes"><span style="color: #753d15;">Malcolm S. Forbes</span></a></strong></div>
<br />
Self-confidence is a thing that many people find difficult to have. This is kind of weird because most people know that their low state self-confidence influences the way they see themselves and how they performance. But, contrary to what many people believe, self confidence is not something that only the gifted few have access to. Any individual can <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/02/improving-your-confidence/" target="_blank">... Read more here.</a></div>
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<a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Anxiety.gif" target="_blank"><span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="English: An anxious person" class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured aligncenter" height="289" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bc/Anxiety.gif" title="English: An anxious person" width="375" /></span></a></h1>
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<strong> </strong></div>
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<strong> Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>through the mind. </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which </strong><strong>all other </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>thoughts </strong><strong>are drained. </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>Arthur Somers Roche</strong></div>
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation that made you break out in a sweat, felt your heartbeat racing, and suddenly notice that you were short of breath? As you have likely figured out by now, especially if it has happened to you more than once, you probably weren’t really having a heart attack, but an anxiety attack. If you suffer with anxiety issues, learning <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/02/managing-your-anxiety/" target="_blank">... Read more here</a></div>
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<strong>Your real boss is the one who walks around under your hat. </strong></div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Hill" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Napoleon Hill"><span style="color: #753d15;">Napoleon Hill</span></a></strong></div>
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On the surface, it would seem that positive thinking and problems remaining focused don’t really have a lot to do with one another. But many people with trouble staying focused, and staying on-task develop negative thinking patterns because they become frustrated by their challenges and by the frequent feelings of just being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even tougher to manage those challenges and to make any forward progress.</div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; </strong></div>
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<strong>true nobility is being superior to your former self.</strong></div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Hemingway" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Ernest Hemingway"><span style="color: #753d15;">Ernest Hemingway</span></a></strong></div>
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Do you often spend some time thinking about how your life could be a little better? Get out your writing utensils, and let’s try an experiment. Try rating each aspect that you are concerned about on a one-to-ten scale? Then you will be able to focus on the parts that you feel need the most attention.<br />
But maybe, as a self-improvement aficionado, you have already tried rating the different areas of your life. And even when the lower-rated areas of your life were improved, maybe you felt that you only raised them to a level of six or a seven at best. The good news is <a href="http://.../">...</a><a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/04/improve-any-aspect-of-your-life/" target="_blank"> ... Continue to read here</a> </div>
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<strong>Strive for progress, not perfection. </strong></div>
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<strong>Unknown</strong></div>
<br />
Everyone has certain beliefs and habits that dictate their behavior. Unfortunately, many of these beliefs can keep people from the very things they desire the most. This seems to be especially true when it comes to diet and exercise. The beliefs that people hold often prevent them from even getting started as well. It is especially unfortunate in light of how easy it can be to make simple<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2012/12/6-beliefs-standing-between-you-and-the-body-you-desire/" target="_blank">... Continue reading here</a> </div>
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<strong>It’s not the load that breaks you down; </strong></div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena_Horne" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Lena Horne"><span style="color: #753d15;">Lena Horne</span></a></strong></div>
<br />
If you have confidence in yourself, tend to think independently, and make your own choices in life, it wouldn’t be all that surprising to discover you prefer to figure most things out by yourself. Because you are reasonably self-assured, you might not like to ask for help, even if it’s necessary. Whether we like it or not, every one of us could benefit from occasionally accepting a hand from another human being. Not only that, but when you ask for assistance, other people also stand to benefit in ways you may not always have considered.<br />
<br />
<strong>9 reasons why you may want to ask someone to help you, even if you find it difficult to do</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>1. Things get done. </strong>You... <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/03/asking-for-help-good-thing/" target="_blank">Read more</a></div>
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<strong>A man who was completely innocent, </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, </strong></div>
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<strong>including his enemies, </strong></div>
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<strong>and became the ransom of the world. </strong></div>
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<strong>It was a perfect act.</strong></div>
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<br />
<strong>Text: John 20:15-7</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<sup>15 </sup>Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Who is it that you are looking for?” Thinking that he was the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you are the one who carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will take him away.”<br />
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<sup>16 </sup>Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means “Teacher”).<br />
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<sup>17 </sup>Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”<br />
<br />
<strong>Getting from here to there</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
The work on the cross was part of a process. It was completed over the course of about 43 days.<br />
<br />
Days after the crucifixion... <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/03/easter-process/" target="_blank">Read more</a></div>
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<b> </b></div>
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<strong>Serving others breaks you free from the shackles of self </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>and </strong><strong>self-absorption </strong><strong>that </strong><strong>choke out </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>the joy of living. </strong></div>
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<strong> </strong></div>
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<strong>James C. Hunter, The Servant</strong></div>
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The word service generally carries with it some very negative connotations. The concept of leadership has only a slightly better reputation. Many of us have been exposed to the term “servant leader,” and tend to think of it in a church or religious setting. However, servant leadership is not confined to any particular or peculiar setting.<br />
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Servant leadership is a specific mindset which affects how you view and deal with the world around you, how you lead your own life, and how you lead others. Now, I know what you are thinking. “I am not a leader, so this doesn’t really apply to me.” Au contraire, mon ami!<br />
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We are all leaders in some aspect of our lives, and often in several different roles. First and foremost, you lead and manage yourself. You lead your families and friends. You influence and lead people at work, even when you hold no leadership title. Someone is always watching your behavior, trying to figure out who you really are, and will likely imitate some of what you do if they deem you a success or a role model. This is exactly how we all learn to function in society. You watch and learn, you imitate, you keep what works and discard the rest. So, like it or not, title or no, you, my friend are a leader. The choice that you must now make is what kind of leader you be or become.<br />
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There are a few specific characteristics that apply to a servant leader. Well, they should probably apply to most leaders, but we are targeting “servants” specifically for today’s discussion.<br />
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<b>1. Ego-less.</b> Servant leaders work at being other-serving, rather than self-serving. Many people who rise to the top in their field tend to be driven there by our own ego or self-esteem. Servant leaders lead from a position of strength and not ego. hip forces you to put your ego aside for the sake of others. Servant leaders know that the mission, goal, vision, well-being of others, pushing people to their fullest potential is about others, not about them.<br />
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<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/02/what-is-servant-leadership/" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></div>
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<strong>A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step </strong></div>
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<strong>in the pursuit of success. </strong></div>
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<strong>Bo Bennett</strong></div>
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<br />
We all have all had those moments when we just don’t feel particularly comfortable with ourselves. Sometimes, you might feel yourself wondering whether other people actually like you, or not. This is a normal part of being human.<br />
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You may feel scared about meeting new people or getting together with your old friends. There are a whole host of reasons why you may have these concerns. Maybe you think you’re having a bad hair day or you are worried about those extra pounds you have put on over the holidays. These seem small when we say them here, but they can dampen your self-confidence. All these things can be part of your fear of rejection.<br />
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But if you are finding that the fears about rejection are taking up a lot of your time and thinking, perhaps it is time to consider ways to rid yourself of some of these worries. How?<br />
<br />
<strong>Replace your fears with some solid strategy:</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>1. Get specific. </strong>What are you afraid of? Figure out what, <em>specifically,</em> you are afraid of. Are you worried that the opposite sex will be turned off by your looks or the clothes you wear? Maybe you think that others believe that you have nothing interesting to say. Are you afraid that you will say something silly and embarrass yourself?<br />
<br />
- The point is that you need to know exactly what it is that you fear before you can try to tackle it.<br />
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<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/03/fears-of-rejection/" target="_blank">Read more here...</a></div>
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<span class="post-category"> <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/category/martina/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Martina McGowan"><span style="color: #753d15;">Martina McGowan</span></a></span> </div>
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<strong>You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>of the things they’ve taught me. </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Adams" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Scott Adams"><span style="color: #753d15;">Scott Adams</span></a></strong></div>
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Many people wonder why some people are so influential, while others are not. It is not magic or mystical powers that make this possible, but simply that these people tend to exude more confidence in themselves when compared to those who are not. They have higher self-esteem and are able to adapt easily and well to the social environments they find themselves in.<br />
Having influence over others is not rocket surgery; I know, I know, a combination of two metaphors. But, you may be surprised at how easy it is, to use <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Dale Carnegie"><span style="color: #753d15;">Dale Carnegie</span></a>‘s phrase, “to win friends and influence other people. ” Not just with the way that you can shape or mold their opinion, but also win them over with the very way you think.<br />
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<strong>1. Demonstrate respect.</strong> First, you should always respect other people’s opinions or thoughts. Avoid making rude or negative comments or telling people that they are just plain wrong. This creates an atmosphere of animosity and does not send the proper message to other people about how you carry yourself. It also makes you seem closed–minded about things, especially with the way other’s think.<br />
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Avoid getting into arguments, and if presented with a situation where you may be tempted to do so, do your best to resist it. Never, ever try to get into a debate. Leave debates to their proper forum, which is rarely in the middle of a conversation or a meeting. Debates are suited for the academic or political arena, but never in social conversations or interactions.<br />
<br />
Always try to start conversations in a friendly and accommodating manner. This reduces some of the initial tension and resistance, and tends to create a good first impression that will usually be repaid in kind. It is important to initiate communication in a way that makes people feel comfortable with you. Never, ever regret admitting that you are wrong about something. Make every effort to show people that you can openly and freely admit your mistakes whenever you get the chance.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/03/influence-people-not-rocket-surgery/" target="_blank">Read more...</a></div>
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<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/02/keeping-positive-when-youre-not-feeling-it/" rel="bookmark" title="Staying positive even when you’re not feeling it">Staying positive even when you’re not feeling it</a></h1>
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<a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/scented-pink-400221071_00952f15aa.jpg"><span style="color: #753d15;"><img alt="positive" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7058" height="400" src="http://martinamcgowan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/scented-pink-400221071_00952f15aa.jpg" width="363" /></span></a></div>
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<strong> Those who believe they can do something and </strong></div>
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<strong></strong> </div>
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<strong>those who believe they can’t are both right.</strong></div>
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<strong> <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Ford" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Henry Ford"><span style="color: #753d15;">Henry Ford</span></a></strong></div>
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Everyone has those days when you know it’s better to be upbeat and positive, but you’re just having a little trouble reaching that positive and productive state of mind. When you face challenges, and we all do, or feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities, and we all will every now and then, it can be very difficult to maintain a positive attitude.<br />
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Here are a few suggestions for ways to improve your mood and experience the inner peace you deserve:<br />
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<strong>1. Start your day with something positive.</strong> Decide each morning that you will start the day headed in the proper direction. Instead of waking up on the wrong side of the bed and setting the stage for a grouchy day, resolve to experience something positive first thing in the morning.<br />
Routines help. Develop a morning routine that you can repeat daily to ease you into your day’s responsibilities. Determine which activities help improve your mood and put you on the path to <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Optimism"><span style="color: #753d15;">positive thinking</span></a>. Find two or three things you can do every morning that will set the stage for a successful day. As these become habits, add on to you routine little by little.<br />
Establishing and keeping a routine will help your body and mind settle in and focus on what you need to accomplish. Instead of rushing around like a fool every morning or forgetting important details, your plan and routine will guide you through a peaceful set of steps that will keep your mind calm and focused and create unstoppable momentum... <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/2013/02/keeping-positive-when-youre-not-feeling-it/" target="_blank">Read more here</a><br />
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Photo Credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40645538@N00/400221071/"><span style="color: #753d15;">Pink Sherbet Photography</span></a> via <a href="http://compfight.com/"><span style="color: #753d15;">Compfight</span></a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/"><span style="color: #753d15;">cc</span></a></div>
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We all have dreams we’d like to see come true, and goals we’d like to achieve. One of the keys to reaching any goal, especially if it is a new one, is to put habits in place that support the fulfillment of that goal. If your current habits are not working for you, or are working against you, you will need to change them or run the risk of coming up short and disappointing yourself... <a href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2284" target="_blank">Read more here</a><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><strong>What is Success? </strong><br />
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Success means different things to different people. The word itself has a fairly simple definition. It means outcome or result. <br />
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So the question that we must pose to ourselves then is, “Are we getting the results or outcomes we had hoped to achieve” Either we are moving forward along the right path toward our intended goal, or we have been diverted along the way. And, whatever we have already accomplished, there's always another interesting-looking mountain to climb. If you’re looking for more achievement, you can improve your life radically with a few simple changes. <br />
<strong> </strong><br />
<strong>Getting on Track </strong><br />
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I am going to offer several simple and obvious suggestions to you. We all know these things, but every now and then we need to be reminded of them. We also need to be prompted to be conscientious in our pursuits to make them part of our daily habits. Although these suggestions are straightforward, most of them will require constant attention for a time until they become habitual. Once they become automatic, though, you'll be pleased with your progress. <br />
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<strong>Action Steps: </strong><br />
<strong> </strong><br />
<strong>1. Set goals. </strong><br />
Our minds are tremendously good at finding solutions. We can help ourselves a lot by doing a good job of outlining and prioritizing our objectives. The simplest way to do this is to write down your goal(s) and include a deadline. Now your mind, both waking and sleeping, knows what to work on and when to have it accomplished. Read over your goals at least twice a day to provide mental emphasis that they are important. We all know how easy it is to get sidetracked by life’s distractions, those real and imagined, and forget all about our goals and plans. <br />
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<strong>You will be amazed how well you can keep on-track when you know where you are headed. </strong><br />
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<strong>2. Get organized. </strong><br />
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Yes, I’m going to talk about making lists. Lists are important so that we have something to refer to as we progress. Many people suggest reviewing lists in the morning to set the tone for the day. I have found that I do much better by making and reviewing my lists at night. Before I go to bed each night, along with picking my clothes, and making sure my briefcase is packed, I make a list with all the things I want to accomplish the next day. Doing this at night gives your brain a chance to work on things while we sleep. Also, you’ll feel much better when you can start the day with a clear objective instead of spending time trying to figure out what to do. <br />
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Personally, I have found that my subconscious mind can work out solutions that I could not see in the rush and noise of the day. So, along with making and reviewing the list before bed, I also keep a pad and pen/pencil on my nightstand. If I think of something fantastic at night, I can scribble it down and have it available in the morning. Plus, I don’t have to lose sleep trying to hold it in my mind until daylight. <br />
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<strong>3. Fix your attitude. </strong><br />
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People who are happy, content and successful usually have a positive attitude. That's what allows them to move forward assuredly and with confidence. This is not the same as acting. I am talking about being! Minor challenges don't bog them down because they believe that things will work out in the end. They are also keeping the broader, bigger picture in mind, so minor challenges are just that…minor, and easily bypassed or overcome. As an example, if you want to be healthy, do you have a positive outlook about that? Your attitudes must be congruent or in-tune with your objectives.<strong> </strong><br />
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<strong>Everything starts on the inside; seeing outside changes in your life takes time and work. </strong><br />
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<strong>4. Spend time with successful individuals. </strong><br />
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You'll frequently find that you achieve about as much as the people with whom you spend the most time. If you want to be successful, affiliate as often as you can with people who are more successful than you. <br />
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One of the potential benefits of this is that you'll be exposed to a completely different way of thinking and interacting with the world. Successful people look at many things differently than those who are less successful. Integrating some of these ideas into your own thinking will likely bring you more successes of your own. <br />
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Secondly, you'll be exposed to new opportunities. High-achieving people frequently have all kinds of projects going on; you never know when they might need a helping hand. You’ll also get to connect with their peer group, who are likely to be very successful as well. This applies to your real life face-to-face contacts, but also in social media. And, no, I’m not talking about stalking Bill Gates to hang out. Most of us rub shoulders with people who are smarter, more successful and think differently than we do in many ways. Open up your mind and life to some new contacts that aren’t doing the same “old thing” you have been doing. <br />
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<strong>5. Make time to play. </strong><br />
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Play is essential to our growth and development. It affords us an opportunity to relax, try new skills or activities and bond with those we care about. We should never find ourselves so busy or so focused on our success that we sacrifice those we love to it. <br />
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These 5 simple ideas can bring you tremendous power, if you'll use them to your advantage. And when you really stop to think about is, being successful is really no more challenging than being unsuccessful. Both require specific actions and attitudes applied consistently over a period of time. <br />
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Make some changes in your life and in your thinking today and give yourself the gift of success…however <em>you</em> define it.<br />
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<strong>Thoughts? </strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><em>Photo credit: </em></span><a data-mce-href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39287453@N03/3612149144/sizes/m/in/photostream/" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39287453@N03/3612149144/sizes/m/in/photostream/"><span style="font-size: small;"><em>http://www.flickr.com/photos/39287453@N03/3612149144/sizes/m/in/photostream/</em></span></a><br />
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<strong> </strong></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><span class='st_twitter_large' ></span><span class='st_sharethis_large' ></span>
<script type="text/javascript">var switchTo5x=true;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></script><script type="text/javascript">stLight.options({publisher:'22d1b6d9-4f9b-4dfe-b749-6137897bd39d'});</script></div>Martina McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04635503044353299327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3800083133314156144.post-59027928273441986652012-04-24T04:30:00.011-04:002012-04-24T14:49:40.265-04:00How to Lead with Integrity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_62uegn_SUk/T5Wi5bhQQhI/AAAAAAAAAjg/67uXZXy-rx8/s1600/puzzle+2137737248_e9f3e429d1_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_62uegn_SUk/T5Wi5bhQQhI/AAAAAAAAAjg/67uXZXy-rx8/s320/puzzle+2137737248_e9f3e429d1_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<strong>Are you integrated, dis-integrated or just disinterested?</strong> <br />
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In some respect we are all leaders. If we lead no one else in life, because of the fact that we are born with free will, we lead ourselves. We also lead our family members, and often lead groups of people at work. Frequently we are unaware of the impact that we have on people’s lives. The most important aspect of our roles as leaders is to be consistent and integrated. What do I mean by integrated?<br />
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<strong>Do all of your pieces fit together?</strong><br />
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Do all of your pieces fit together, or is there some part that is out of joint? Our thoughts, should match our core values, should match what we say and all of this should match our walk. Our walk is simply the way we go through our daily lives. How we act, how we speak, what we speak about, how we do things, what we choose to do…everything. How often have you seen a leader who’s been successful at guiding others by saying one thing and then doing something different? Not very often, right? That just doesn’t work! <br />
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People learn a great deal more about us by the way we act then by the words we speak. What is at work in our hearts and minds will eventually show through our actions. When we try to teach principles without also modeling them with the right behavior, those principles will eventually fall by the wayside for those we are trying to instruct, as well as for us. When we are in a positions of authority, whether it is interacting with out teenagers or sitting in the corner office, it is of <em>utmost</em> importance to lead by example if we expect to gain compliance. <br />
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<strong>What happens when we are dis-integrated? </strong><br />
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What happens when we try to teach certain life principles to people, but allow our own actions to demonstrate otherwise? Three things: <br />
<ol>
<li>Those who we expect compliance from will very quickly grow to <strong>resent</strong> us, especially if the principles we are teaching are a challenge for them to perform or incorporate into their own behavior.</li>
<li>We run the risk of gaining a <strong>negative reputation</strong> as an ineffective leader or teacher as we continue to lose sight of the very actions we wished to teach. We <strong>lose credibility</strong>.</li>
<li>There will be <strong>dissension</strong> in the ranks. Cases of <strong>rebellion</strong> will continue to grow as more and more people feel they’re being dictated to rather than being led. From here it continues on a downward slide: defiance, disobedience, resistance, undermining of your authority, and finally mutiny. </li>
</ol>
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<strong>Importance of Integrity </strong> <br />
<ol>
<li>People learn to <strong>support</strong> principles based on results. For example, if you’re teaching honesty, when people see for themselves that you gain the trust of others by being honest, they will likely get on board with the program as they begin to see the benefits of being honest themselves. If on the other hand you are teaching honesty, and you are frequently caught in lies, a totally different lesson emerges.</li>
<li>People actually <strong>understand</strong> the principles. Just saying principles, or hanging them on the walls of your office, isn’t usually enough. In fact, most people come into situations and jobs with their own ideas of what’s expected of them, which is probably different than ours, based on background and education.</li>
<li>It brings <strong>cohesion</strong> and <strong>cooperation</strong> to your team. The whole team is working with the same or similar expectations. When everybody is on the same page, processes, departments and even families run much more smoothly and cohesively.</li>
<li><strong>Respect</strong>. When others can see that we are <em>fully</em> complying with the principles we are teaching, we will ultimately gain their respect and trust.</li>
</ol>
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<strong>How do we start? </strong><br />
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If you think your leadership style is unstable, take a deep breath, stop, reassess. <br />
<strong>Write</strong> them down. It is a very easy place to begin when we write out our expectations. This will also help to make it clearer to us what we want. You’ve heard it said before that, “knowing is half the battle.” Well, it’s the easiest half. It takes a lot of effort to really walk your talk and practice behaviors that you want others to imitate. But we can get started practicing this positive principle on a daily basis with only a small effort:<br />
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Start with the <strong>smallest circle of influence</strong> you have. <br />
<ol>
<li>Give yourself the opportunity to impart morals and good belief systems on your immediate <strong>family</strong> and close <strong>friends</strong>. Generally speaking, if you can’t get any of these people on board with your program, then outside success seems less likely...Generally speaking.</li>
<li>Tackle the principles <strong>one at a time</strong>. People will not respond well to a whole new set of rules and behaviors dumped on them all at once. Break it down into manageable and do-able tasks.</li>
<li><strong>Work hard</strong> at allowing it to become an integral part of your own everyday life. New habits take time to develop, so we must be diligent.</li>
<li><strong>Celebrate</strong> and reward <em>all</em> successes. Be uplifting when you talk about the wins and the “almost-wins.” </li>
<li>Once you’ve mastered one, and then move on to something else. But remember, it’s vitally important to be able to give <strong>testimony</strong> to the fact that there is actually greater benefit to adhering to that particular principle than not adhering. There is a certain element of fulfillment when you can show others just what kinds of actions, thoughts and behaviors contribute to a better, more wholesome and less stressful outcome. </li>
</ol>
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Walking the talk, being integrated, having integrity is a lifelong journey, and a full-time commitment. There will be times that we fall below our own expectations and the principles we aspire to uphold. However, what’s important is that we recognize it and take the necessary steps to get back on track as soon as possible! <br />
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<strong>Thoughts</strong>? <br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>photo credit</strong>: </span><a data-mce-href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lumaxart/2137737248/sizes/z/in/photostream/" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lumaxart/2137737248/sizes/z/in/photostream/"><span style="font-size: x-small;">http://www.flickr.com/photos/lumaxart/2137737248/sizes/z/in/photostream/</span></a></em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><span class='st_twitter_large' ></span><span class='st_sharethis_large' ></span>
<script type="text/javascript">var switchTo5x=true;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></script><script type="text/javascript">stLight.options({publisher:'22d1b6d9-4f9b-4dfe-b749-6137897bd39d'});</script></div>Martina McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04635503044353299327noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3800083133314156144.post-37769653456837092922012-04-23T04:30:00.005-04:002012-04-23T14:19:31.501-04:008 Simple Ways to Be a Better Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k1fwsJ--bj4/T49XTiWcmdI/AAAAAAAAAik/2oDx3tywexY/s1600/friends+511667626_f90a85db28_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k1fwsJ--bj4/T49XTiWcmdI/AAAAAAAAAik/2oDx3tywexY/s320/friends+511667626_f90a85db28_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div data-mce-style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><strong> <span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to </span></strong></div><div data-mce-style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">have </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">a friend is to be a friend.</span></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><em><span data-mce-style="font-size: small; font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">~ Ralph Waldo Emerson</span></strong></span></em></div><h3><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span></h3><h3><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Relationships</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">We have been talking about relationships for the past few weeks. I don’t know about you guys, but I have had many acquaintances in my life, but relatively few that I hold in my heart as true and close friends. And, I am sure the same is true for how people feel about me. Even the most solitary of us need friends in our lives because it gives us gives us some balance and someone to turn to when we’re feeling lonely, in need a listening ear, or just want someone to celebrate with us. </span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">If you’ve ever had a really great friend, you’ve noticed all the things they did with you, for you, and on your behalf. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Whether you’re learning to be that kind of a friend yourself or just concerned that you need to polish up your “good friend” skills, here are a few ideas that will help you establish and maintain positive, fulfilling friendships. Because let’s be honest, if you aren’t both being served by and in a relationship, it isn’t going to go the distance.</span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span><br />
<h3><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span></span> </h3><h3><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Getting Better</span></span></h3><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Here are a few suggestions for nurturing our friendships.</span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">1. Just like in most areas of our lives, listening is the key to meaningful and useful communication. <strong>Be a good listener</strong>. We all have had times when we just need to vent our feelings or frustrations. When we make the decision to listen rather than offer feedback or suggestions, we are practicing one of the most important behaviors a good friend can do. Keep your ears, mind and heart open. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">2. <strong>Support your friends</strong>. Truth, trust and honesty are most assuredly the cornerstones of any healthy friendship. However, there are times when honesty is less helpful than providing emotional support. Let your friend know you’re there for him and that he can call you at any time. There will be times that we must choose between being empathetic and sympathetic, and being “right.”</span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">3. <strong>Always honor your commitments</strong>. Have you ever had friends who sometimes show up 5, 10, 20, 30, 45 minutes late, or not at all? Or even a few who are chronically late? It is important that we become someone our friend can <em>always</em> count on. Be dependable and predictable in your friendship. Doing so will ensure you’ll never have a shortage of people who care for you. We honor people by respecting them, their stuff <em>and</em> their time.</span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">4.<strong> Spend time together</strong>. Make time for your friend. Make an appointment if you need to; use your calendar or smart phone. Do something fun, have dinner, paint the living room, work on the car, or just hang out. A good friend wants to be together and makes time in their busy schedule to do it. Be creative in the planning of activities and you’ll make great memories together.</span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">5. <strong>Avoid offering criticism</strong>. Providing criticism to someone you care about rarely turns out well in the long-run. Even though you may have formed an opinion on something your friend said or did, it’s probably best to refrain from telling him of his errors. If the occasion arises that they ask you directly for feedback on a situation where you believe they have made a mistake, choose your words very, very carefully. Saying something like, “I might have done it another way” sounds less critical and more helpful than, “You shouldn’t have done it that way.” People need to have the truth spoken into their lives, but we must tread carefully, or they will shut down and refuse to hear anything being said. <strong>Always remember to speak the truth in love.</strong></span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">6. <strong>Keep your friend’s secrets and problems confidential. </strong>Although this should be an obvious point, it is often the most difficult to put into practice. Under <em>no</em> circumstance should you reveal anything about your friend to others who ask, even if one friend puts you on the spot regarding another.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">7. <strong>Avoid dumping all your life’s concerns and challenges on your friends</strong>. Confiding in each other is important, but try very hard to refrain from using your friends <em>only</em> for venting about your own negative feelings and situations. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;">8.<strong> Keep the energy surrounding your time together as positive as possible</strong>. Moderate your conversations so the friendship doesn’t get too bogged down with frustrating or negative energy. If it begins to feel like you are only talking about negative stuff when you’re together, try setting time limits. For instance, say something like this: “For 15 minutes I’m going to talk about my frustrations with work. For the following 15 minutes you can vent, and then we can go have some fun.” Respect the time limit you set to discuss your gripes.</span><span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Be the Best</strong></span></span><br />
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<span data-mce-style="font-family: Times New Roman;" style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Being a great friend will bring you moments of great joy (and sadness), years of comfort, and decades of treasured memories. Try to consciously implement a few of these strategies into your relationships. You’ll feel like you’re the best friend ever and those you care about will begin to think so, too!</span></span><br />
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<div data-mce-style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should. <em>~ Unknown</em></span></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><h3><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Thoughts? What would you add to this list?</span></h3><strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span></strong><br />
<h3><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Related posts</span></h3><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The building blocks of Good Relationships</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">1. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=1992" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=1992" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Be Authentic </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">2. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2001" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2001" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Be Responsible </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">3. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2014" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2014" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Be Sticky </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">4. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2038" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2038" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Be Mission- and Value-minded </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Need more work on your communication skills? Check these related posts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">1. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2062" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2062" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Just Look </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">2. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2071" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2071" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Use Your Words </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">3. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2101" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2101" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Seek Clarity </span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">4. </span><a data-mce-href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2125" href="http://martinamcgowan.com/?p=2125" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Respond in Kind </span></a><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">photo credit: </span><a data-mce-href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor/511667626/sizes/z/in/photostream/" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor/511667626/sizes/z/in/photostream/"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor/511667626/sizes/z/in/photostream/</span></a></em></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><span class='st_twitter_large' ></span><span class='st_sharethis_large' ></span>
<script type="text/javascript">var switchTo5x=true;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></script><script type="text/javascript">stLight.options({publisher:'22d1b6d9-4f9b-4dfe-b749-6137897bd39d'});</script></div>Martina McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04635503044353299327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3800083133314156144.post-38489434540834401752012-04-21T04:30:00.007-04:002012-04-21T04:30:01.237-04:00Clever vs Wise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C5-ylwOUDlY/T48tZ2dGEQI/AAAAAAAAAic/y2p9dgO-ZdI/s1600/517-Naguib-1440x900_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250px" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C5-ylwOUDlY/T48tZ2dGEQI/AAAAAAAAAic/y2p9dgO-ZdI/s400/517-Naguib-1440x900_2.jpg" width="400px" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><span class='st_twitter_large' ></span><span class='st_sharethis_large' ></span>
<script type="text/javascript">var switchTo5x=true;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></script><script type="text/javascript">stLight.options({publisher:'22d1b6d9-4f9b-4dfe-b749-6137897bd39d'});</script></div>Martina McGowanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04635503044353299327noreply@blogger.com0