Why you stay stuck 1

We all have thought loops and patterns that play over and over in our heads. The voice speaking the words may have change a little, but if we look back and listen very carefully, we can usually find the original voice. It may have been a parent, a sibling, a school bully...

The sound is different now, or the face attached to it may have changed, but it carries with it the same old message...

• "I will never be good enough." 
• "I am a fraud, they will all see through me."
• "I’m going to screw this up."
• "What was I thinking when I started this project?"
• My personal favorite is, “You can do better.”

It sounds so innocent, innocuous and motivating... "You can do better.” But this innocent little phrase was not accompanied by love; there was no specific goal, no end in sight, no reward. “You can do better.” All stick with no carrot. But I digress…

If you're reading this blog, then you know that a source of truth for me is the living and active Word of God.
God has prepared our hearts and minds to be transformed by His Word. We must ferret out each lie; identify it for what it is, and reject the toxic thoughts associated with them.

Then we must replace them with a much better reel, a superior pattern; an upgrade, if you will. We must replace them with the inerrant truth of God’s word.
[continued...]

  

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to carefully guard our thoughts because they are the source of true life.

["Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."](KJV)

Proverbs 27:3a, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..."(KJV). A more modern interpretation of this is that we are what we think about...all the time.

What message do you need to leave behind?

  

We are hard-wired to repeat our internal messages over and over. These messages that we play for ourselves need to be brought out into the light of day, and examined for truth. Why, 40 years later are we still calling ourselves unworthy? Why do we hide behind and in our fear? Our fear of success, our fear of failure, of not being enough, of being too much?

Why we stay stuck (Part 4 / Conclusion)

Part 4 John 5:2-9 (Conclusion)

What did Jesus ask? Let's look at verse six in its entirety now: "When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"


Over the last few days we have talked about the fact that there are a lot of people don’t really want to be healed; they don’t really want to be made whole.

Saying “yes” to Jesus’ question means two things. First we must admit that we are hurting. Some of us, if Jesus were to walk up to us right now and ask, "Do you want to get well?" We would probably say, “What do you mean, Lord? I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me; go help my friend, he’s the one with problems.” "Do you want to get well?" If you do, it means admitting you’re hurt to yourself, to God, and maybe even to a few trusted friends.

But that’s not all. Saying “yes” to Jesus’ question also means that we must choose healing over hurt. When Jesus asked, "Do you want to get well?" it isn't a rhetorical question, nor was he being flippant. But some of us choose to hold on to our hurts, because we would rather complain. We’re not done seething in anger at those who hurt us, because we know it’ll take work to get better, and besides, we kind of enjoy the sympathy we get, or the attention, or the feeling of playing the martyr.

But He keeps asking, "Do you want to get well?" If you do, then there's one more gem to be mined from this short passage. And that is, what Jesus said. Look at verse 7. After Jesus asked the crippled man by the pool, "Do you want to get well?": "Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

Let's look at what he’s really saying about the depth of his hurt? He’s saying, “I’m not only crippled, but (a) I am friendless, I have no one to help me, (b) I am flailing, straining and struggling and its tough, and (c) I am frustrated because someone else goes down ahead of me.

Isn't that how we sound in the middle of our hurts? We feel friendless, flailing and frustrated? But it’s what happens next. In verses 8 and 9:“ Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

Jesus apparently didn’t touch the man, or even point to him. He said, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." John doesn’t tell us whether it was Jesus’ words, or a wave or just his will that healed the man. But it’s clear that Jesus had the power to heal him, and he did. Jesus told a man who couldn’t even drag himself into the pool to get up. And the man did! Why? How? I believe it’s because, for some reason, this man believed that Jesus could heal him. And I also believe that there are hurting people who need to believe that Jesus can heal them too.

The Bible says, He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). And, this is what the high and lofty One says-- he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isaiah 57:15).

God is able and willing to heal your hurts, and I believe he is saying to you this morning, “I am with you. I want to revive your spirit and restore your heart.” Jesus said to the man by the Pool of Bethesda, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." In other words, I think God is saying to many of us, “It’s time to leave your hurt behind. Pick up your mat and walk. Choose healing over hurt. Take the first step.”

So why do you (we) get stuck and stay there? I am told that Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Therefore, like the pool guy, we must be insane. How many times have you done something that either didn't (never) work out or you knew was going to be detrimental to you? Three or four times? Three or four years? How much of your life have you wasted sitting by the pool, waiting for your luck to change while the whole world passes you by?

Sadly, most of us stay stuck because we choose. We don't like what we are getting, but we are too ____________________ (stubborn, lazy, stupid, comfortable, you can fill in your own favorite time-worn excuse) to do something radically different. We too often find a sad kind of comfort in the familiarity of our circumstances, no matter how painful they may be.

My hope and prayer is that the next time you find yourself on that familiar path, you will stop and ask yourself, “What am I hoping to accomplish by doing this?" One of two things will happen:

a) You will choose the same path, the same plan, the same person, but this time should own up to it, or

b) You will laugh at your foolishness, say "What was I thinking?" and turn a different way.

And if you choose plan "B" you can reclaim your life, rather than going through the motions of merely existing. You can go where you want with a purpose.

You can pick up you mat and walk.

Amen....

Why we stay stuck (Part 3)

Part 3 John 5:2-9

I don’t know what your predicament is, but I do know that God can work change in the midst of it. And even if God does not intervene in exactly the way we might wish, even in those situations that he allows us to struggle though, he gives us the grace to deal with the situation. Paul says that he prayed three times that his particular ailment might be taken away. And God did not grant that request. But what Paul finally says is that he was granted an even greater blessing by receiving grace to deal with his situation to God’s glory.

God may not change some of our situations, but he can and will change our rut. He can and will deliver us to a place where even if we are in the same situation, we will not be in the same place.

He will use all that he allows to come to pass to his glory if we yield ourselves to him. Real change is possible with the God who holds everything in his hands!

So, what is the comfortable predicament that we find ourselves in today? I think for each of us there is a situation or two that we say we want to change, but we really don’t. Perhaps it is because we kind of like our rut and fear the change that it might bring to get out of it. Perhaps we simply think it’s hopeless and we doubt that God could do anything about it, anyway. In either case, God is ready and willing to intervene.

Our man back at the pool never really responded to Jesus’ question, “Do you want to get well?” Jesus simply takes command of the situation and tells him to get up and walk. As Lord of the universe, he really doesn’t need to ask our permission to change our lives. These things are done for His glory, and for our benefit. Jesus merely commands him to get up and walk.

He tells him to do something that is impossible. Paralyzed men cannot walk any more than spiritually blind men can see truth. But Jesus is always commanding us to do the impossible and then, making those things possible.

That leads us back to our question, "Do you want to get well?" It’s a fair question for him and for all of us.

There are three things that we should notice about what took place at the Pool of Bethesda. They are what Jesus saw, what Jesus asked, and what Jesus said.

What Jesus saw: If we look at verse 1, we see that John describes Jesus going up to Jerusalem for one of the many feasts in the Jewish calendar. And in verse 2, John tells us about the pool of Bethesda. It was there, at the Pool of Bethesda that Jesus encountered our main character, who had been an invalid for 38 years. This means that this man had needed healing since before Jesus was born! John then tells us in verse 3: Here a great number of disabled people used to lie--the blind, the lame, and the paralyzed.

But it’s the first part of verse 6 that I want to draw your attention to. Here it tells us what Jesus saw: Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time. This hurting man was surrounded by “a great number” of people and yet, Jesus saw him lying there.

What was true that day beside the Pool of Bethesda is still true today. To anyone who is hurting, remember that you are not alone. It’s not just you. There are “a great number” of hurting people all around you right now. If you were to take a good look around you, you would see “a great number of disabled people,” hurting people, people who don’t have it all together, people with scars, people with wounds so deep and some so incredibly sore that it only takes a word or a look to open the scab, and create fresh hurt.

But, Jesus saw him lying there. Jesus sees us. He is not oblivious to our pain, to our hurt, or to our needs. Just as he saw that man and learned that he’d been there for a long time. And he knows just how long, how much and how deeply we've been hurting, too.

A lot of us Christians fail to do what Jesus did by the Pool of Bethesda; we fail to acknowledge the reality of people’s pain. We avoid the subject because it makes us uncomfortable or we communicate to people, “You’re not supposed to hurt. If you were a real Christian, if you were truly spiritual, you wouldn’t feel this way.” Or we offer superficial answers to deep hurts, saying, “Just pray. Have more faith. Let go and let God.” Do we think people are stupid? Jesus didn’t do that.

Jesus saw him lying there, and that's important. Jesus saw the man’s hurt and knew that it was real, and it had been real for a long time. And of course you’ll ask, “What about all those other people at the pool? The Bible says, there were a “great number” of them. Did Jesus pass them by?” I have no idea. Maybe he healed others whose stories have not been preserved for us. John says about 15 chapters later that Jesus did many other miraculous signs, which are not recorded in this book (John 20:30).

[final installment tomorrow]

Why we stay stuck (part 2)

Part 2 John 5:2-9

What about the second kind of person? What about the person who does not want to change? I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to think about this man. He must have been adequately cared for, or he wouldn’t have survived this long. He probably had a few friends who stopped by, although, obviously, not at the right time. He has become accustomed to this way of living. He is surrounded by other people who were hopeless. sick, infirm and lame.

We have all found ourselves in situations where we become either become resigned to our fate, or accustomed enough to it to resist making any changes.

I recently read a study called “Change or Die”. The study followed several thousand people who had been told by their doctors that they must change their health habits or die. People with health issues serious enough that they were facing death, but with issues that were changeable or correctable. They were faced with issues like stopping smoking, stopping drinking, reducing stress, or losing weight. Faced with the choice to “change or die,” what percentage do you think changed their behavior and continued in a new pattern after one year? Nine percent. That’s less than one in ten. Nine out of ten people would rather die than change.

Sadly, I don't find this surprising. But, it begs to question, why would people cling so tenaciously to behavior that they knew would kill them? Perhaps for the same reasons the man at the pool, stays at the pool. He doesn't really want to get well.

If we decide we want to change, we know that there will be implications. And we don’t have a clear picture of what life might be like if we do change. Even if the alternative is a positive one, change can be hard to think about. We get used to our rut. Even if our rut is difficult, it is OUR rut. Sometimes, many times it just feels easier to stay put.

I can imagine that after 38 years our guy at the pool may have made the decision that this is as good as it will get. If he got into the pool and was healed, he’d have to get a job. He might even have to leave his friends behind. After all, if you are healthy and employed, then you can’t hang out at a pool all day. So, while his situation was unfortunate, he may have rationalized his way into thinking that it could be better than the alternative, being whole again.

For those who don’t know Christ, and for some who do, I wonder if they ever have a clear picture of what life can really be like. I’ve known many people who are not satisfied with life, but really have no desire to change. What if they really believed that life could be much better?

Jesus promised that we could have abundant life. Paul said in 1Corinthians 2 that. "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

Only God can break in and allow people to see what they can and should be. And you and I must faithfully testify in word and deed to that reality so that people can actually see the alternative for themselves! Many people think that if they follow Christ they’re simply trading one bad rut for another. And, where do you suppose they get the idea that following Christ is a joyless life? From us, of course. You know, if you are telling people by what you say or what you do that following Jesus is a bitter, dutiful distasteful existence, then I’d like to suggest that you take a good look at what you’re calling the Christian Life? It really ought to be a life of joy, of peace, and of satisfaction.

That doesn’t mean it is without difficulty. Christians have just as much trouble as anyone else in this world. But Jesus told us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. And he promises to be there with us in the midst of trouble and to help us to make some sense of it. If your words or your life communicate anything other than the fact that following Christ is ultimately an abundant, victorious and freeing lifestyle, then you should do the Kingdom a favor and stop following Christ and giving him bad press! But, don’t sugar coat it either! We will still experience problems and we should not paint a picture of a life with no problems and no pain.

There is another reason I think people who want to change, but don't. They don’t really believe they can change. After all, if you think it’s hopeless, why try? Why on earth would any situation be hopeless? We worship the God of the Universe, who holds everything and every situation in His hands. God can and does change hearts. And God can and does deliver us from our predicaments, no matter how bad or how deep.

Back to our story: We know that Jesus healed many people in response to their faith. He healed many people because they sought Him out and had faith. But our main character was not like this at all. He didn’t find Jesus, Jesus found him. This is a great picture of the grace of God. He finds us and he desires to change us, even if we don’t have the faith to believe that this can happen.

[more to come...]