We all have people, things and situations in our lives that we don’t want there. We feel powerless, but we are not. They take away our sense of self and our peace of mind. A few days ago we finished up a unit on peace. Taking a page and a lesson from the Apostle Paul, let’s try to get some perspective in how to move forward. Usually what starts to get under our skin are words. Words that are spoken, written and sometimes even implied.
What do I mean by this last? Many of us suffer under the burden of psychological abuse. We live with an unspoken downgrading of our esteem, our worth, our intelligence, our parentage, our skills, etc. This constant undermining of our self-esteem and self-worth can cause long-term and widespread damage. You’ve heard it before, and it is true.
Hurt people hurt!
They hurt themselves and they hurt other people.
So, with Paul’s help, let us set some foundations, lay ground rules for social interaction, both in real life and online.
Before you say or write something, think…
Before you accept the words that someone is saying, writing, thinking about you, or trying to make you think about yourself…
- Does this add value to me? Increase my knowledge? Stroke my ego? Lift me up?
- Is it Noble? Do these thoughts or statement place a high value on all people? Or are they just trying to put you down, or knock someone you admire off their pedestal?
- Is it Right, just or ethical?
- Is it lovely? Or is it just ugly, rude, crude, vulgar, vile, vindictive? Is it uplifting and encouraging?
- Is it Admirable? Is this something that I think others would look up to and say, “I want to think just the way that you do”? Would you have a problem with people that you truly respect thinking the same thoughts that you are thinking right now?
- Is it Excellent? Is this important, top of the line, useful, or meaningful?
- Is it Praiseworthy? If others knew what I was thinking, would they praise me for it? Would they praise me for the actions that will come from those thoughts?
- Is it Helpful? Am I learning something new? Or, is there an opportunity in this exchange to teach someone else something new? This implies that they are open to learning.
- Will I pass this along, and share it with my friends or colleague? Or will I need to hide it im my secret stash, and share with only a few?
- Can I put this into practice? Does this support my values?
- Do I even freaking care? Do I care what this person is saying? Will I engage or let it float by?
On twitter, there is a simple solution,
It works in real life too… JUST SAY NO!